Rich College Student to Poor Adult

You guys must think that I am dead.

Well, I’m not. I’m just very busy…no not busy. What is the word I’m looking for? ….Yes, lazy. I’m just very lazy.

And when I get lazy, I watch TV instead of write. Writing is hard, and takes a lot of brain power. I need to save my energy to do it.

Let’s see, where did we leave off? Ah yes, I got fired and was living a very boring and broke life. Well I’m happy to say that I found a job, but sadly, still living the broke life. Thank goodness the people around me are rich! (Note for life: If you are poor, have rich friends.)

I signed a bunch of confidentiality papers on the first day so I’m just not going to talk about my new job.

Instead we can talk about many other things, like how hard writing is, or the complex political climate of our country (that’s the U.S. if you are reading from overseas), or we can talk about how everything was awesome in college and now everything isn’t. Or as I like to call it, the ultimate glam-down: rich in college to poor in life.

In college, you just joke about the debt you will be in. It’s a joke at that point because you can imagine you’ll get an awesome, well-paying job right out of college and not have to worry about counting the cans of soup you can buy, and still make the loan payment.

After college, it’s all real. You get the bill six months after you graduate, and they expect you to be ready to pay that shit. Which we all know, unless you got amazing grades, did internships in all of your free time, and already have three years of experience in the field you want to go in; you will be entering numbers into spreadsheets for two years before you can even consider applying for something in a real office.

Another reason college is awesome, I lived at home and had a job. Now, unless your parents suck or they really want to prepare you, that means I lived rent-free for four years and paid no bills. So, I had 100% disposable income to spend. And I did. Because the debt was still just a joke.

After college, you move in with people in a new city because you were told that city has a good job market, and then you spend a total of five months without a job. This empties your savings and requires you to do anything for work, like walking three-legged dogs and selling blood.

In college, you are drinking to show how cool and awesome you are.

After college, you drink to forget that while in college you had big dreams and now you walk three-legged dogs and count soup cans.

In college, you are learning so many new things and everything sounds cool.

After college, if someone asks you one question about history or math, your brain explodes and you swear you never ever learned anything remotely related to that topic. Even if you took four classes on it.

 

I don’t want to say that college is a bad idea and no one should do it. We all do it for the hope that one day, it will all be better. But that’s like way way later.

What I’m saying is, either stay in college forever or never do it. Anywhere in-between always has the ultimate glam-down: rich in college to poor in life moments, and let’s try to avoid that.

 

By the way: I looked up generic photos of college life, and this is what came up. I have so many questions for the people in this photo. Why do they have a couch? Who did they steal that couch from? If you want to sit on a couch, sit inside. It is also concerning that one girl isn’t wearing shoes and her feet are next to someone’s sandwich. Put on shoes or throw the sandwich away. Gross.

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