National Handshake Day

So much has happened since National Handshake Day, June 28th. The great holiday dedicated to the preferred method of greeting during business meetings. It is also used for job interviews, which I will be needing.

My mother and brother came to visit Chicago. It was very fun, extremely stressful, and I was immediately fired from my job once they left. After years of searching for the perfect job situation, I found a job where I got to kick things and yell at people. I will never find anything better than that. It was a beautiful holiday though, great weather.

Now, I have to remember how to handshake. Is it very hard? Very weak? Somehow in between?

Also, what do you do with 24 hours of free time? That’s too much time to fill without spending any money. But I’m in a very special deal with every office in America. Here are the details of the deal:

  1. I never work there, and they never hire me no matter how many times I apply.

Those are all the details. Short, but clear. Easy to remember.

But let us focus on the great parts of that holiday weekend. I got to see my mother, Navy Pier, the Bean, my aunt, two girls playing with a Keurig reusable cup on the side of the road. And, boy, was the weather nice.

After wasting most of my family’s trip working, unknowingly, my last shift. We got to go Navy Pier during Pride Month. Everything was decorated in great colors, even the Ferris wheel had the rainbow on it. It was really cool. We got food there, and it was ridiculously overpriced, but very good.

But I need to say, Navy Pier is long, like really long. I feel like I should’ve prepped for a 5K run rather than taking pictures on a pier. I was wearing tight pants guys; it was so hot.

Continuing with the good stuff, we went to the Bean after Navy Pier, and my aunt told a deaf woman asking for money to get a job in sign language. It was great. Then they were all yelling at me to take pictures of their reflections from every. single. angle. It was like taking a trip with a bunch of people that don’t know each other and all need a picture by themselves but refuse to take a selfie.

Then we went to see West Side Story, and everyone cried for some reason. They have already seen it like a million times, why are they crying? Spoiler alert: Tony dies, get over it. But I did get to sit in a recliner and drink so it was an okay three hours.

That was my trip. Then I went back to work and got fired. National Handshake Day, am I right?


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