PT in America

For those that follow my Instagram account, @grandmaw_ames, I am back in physical therapy for my hip. I guess kicking as a job requirement isn’t the best for me. But I love it too much to stop. So physical therapy is my salvation. Physical therapy is very different in America. Is it better? I’m not sure yet. It definitely helps more, but being able to speak the same language as my therapist poses issues.

Like, I get the hot physical therapist and fall in love with him. We all knew this would happen right.

I like to think I have gained a certain amount of confidence since moving back to America. Either that or I’ve gotten used to the general public not understanding me and my filter has completely turned off. But something about trying to flirt with my physical therapist screams sexual harassment. So, I’m holding back.

It does get very confusing though, considering the area of my injury. My appointments usually start with an assessment, which includes a stretch then some “soft issue work.” For those unfamiliar with PT, soft tissue work basically means a deep tissue massage. And for someone like me, with hip flexor problems, it includes a massage of my hip flexors.

We have multiple hip flexor muscles and I have issues with all of them. I am a grandmaw. Two muscles are in the front (i.e. groin area), and one in the back (i.e. butt area). I hope we’ve all put the two together to realize every physical therapy session starts with someone massaging my groin area and ass.

Typically, I have a female physical therapist. She is awesome and really not afraid to make my muscles hurt, which is very helpful. She will be known as Ruth Bader.

Or the physical therapist that loves Marvel and that’s all we ever talk about. He is super cool. He will be known as Stan Lee. (If you are reading this, I’m going to see Deadpool 2 soon, I promise.)

But, sometimes, and usually without warning, I have the tall, insanely blue-eyed, ripped man. We will call him Captain America for the purposes of life-rights and all.

I have given everyone in the office a nickname in case they come up in the future. I’m assuming they will since I’m only halfway through my prescription.

I’ve had Captain America twice now, and he really likes to challenge me. By challenge I mean doing my exercises with weights. Instead of just squats, I do squats while holding weights, which I had to do today. I made the mistake of saying it was easy though, and he will be stepping it up next time and I am worried.

The first time I saw him, I didn’t talk much mostly because I just didn’t know what to say. Talking to a physical therapist is like trying to talk to the dentist, because you are doing a lot of work while trying to talk but your mouth is free so I guess it is a little easier. It was also weird because I think it was his birthday. Was I supposed to wish him happy birthday? I don’t know. We talked about the usual stuff: How does the hip feel, Any symptoms, etc. Today, we were able to get into more interesting things. I know he is a fan of board and card games now, so that’s cool.

But the biggest accomplishment of today was being able to see him as Steve Rogers. By that I mean, I saw him on the street and out of the office. I didn’t get to talk to him. It was like seeing a teacher outside of school. I wanted to follow him to reveal that he lives with his mom or that he is an actual superhero on the weekends. That would’ve been my chance to talk to him for real though. But I was on the phone so we will never know. Maybe I’ll see him again at my next session.




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