Bye Bye Yellow Haze

I’m back in America. I know. It’s weird. My Korean experience (I’m referring to me living in Korea, not some last minute relationship I had with a Korean. I’m not that lucky), but anyway, my Korean experience is over. Now I’m forced to talk about it with everyone I meet. You know what that means! Yeap! I’m forced into a very weird talk about the political climate between the U.S. and North Korea all of the time. This is how the conversation usually goes:

“So, you just got back from where?”

“South Korea.”

“Oh, I thought you said North Korea.”

They never think that. They are just setting themselves up for this question:

“So, what’s it like over there with all the … you know?”

Babies fighting over Twitter? Yeah, I know. “It’s not that bad.”

“But, like, what do the Koreans think about it?”

I’m not a mind reader. “They seem calm.”

“Oh, that’s good. I wouldn’t be.”

Yeah, well they have been dealing with this for awhile, if you forgot what you learned in 5th grade history. “Yeah, I was pretty nervous.” No, I slept like a baby all the time.

“Wow, well I’m glad you are back.”

Why? You are my dentist, not my mom. “Me too.” [Forced smile] But only because I really wanted to eat some Panera Bread. [Real smile because I’m thinking about a Panera Bread cookie.]

Then they talk some more, but I usually stop listening and just think about Panera Bread.

 

So that has been my life for the last week or so. Wow, I have not been back that long. It feels like nothing has changed though. Being unemployed makes time into a flat circle.

I’ve been thinking about how to sum up my year in Korea. My first thought was rap album, obviously, because I had this picture to use.

img_20171025_191801_078-778225822.jpg

Which is clearly an early 2000’s rap album cover… Okay, maybe an amateur boy band cover, with a girl on it. But you get what you paid for.

So, I had to rule that out. But I’m going to keep the title Bye Bye Yellow Haze to keep the dream alive.

Unfortunately, I cannot summarize my Korean experience (again, the country, not a man) in words. Maybe I’ll try to make picture retelling. Like a comic book! Possible titles for my comic book about Korea:

Grandmaw Ames

Amee Do Poos

Ababe (Someone in India called me that, it’s not about Korea but still relevant to this year.)

Miss Kicks-A-Lot

Amy

The Incredible Amy

The Amazing Amy

The Sensational Amy    (Do you get it? I’m doing Spider-man.)

The Adventures of the Forever Invisible Woman

Invisagirl (Like Invisalign, but instead of straightening teeth, I straighten bad guys. So they don’t do crimes anymore. That one came out weird.)

E-2 (Is about my visa or am I experiment 2? We’ll never know.)

 

Wow, all of those are gems. This needs to happen.

But if you ask a question about Korea, I will probably try to answer it! That’s all I got.

 

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