The Regular Anchovy

Day 250: I got to see him behave normally today.

Let me explain.

I needed to wash my hands, but he was in there filling up a cup with water, pouring it out, then filling it again. This is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen too. He didn’t care at all that other people might want water. He would drink some, then pour the rest out. Then get some more. Like a boss, because he is a boss. Did I ever mention that this person is technically my boss?

Usually when this happens, he abandons ship as quickly as possible. Maybe he’s worried I’ll actually talk to him. But everyone knows that’s not my move.

This time he was able to stand in the room. I think it was because another teacher was in there, and he could speak Korean.

He seemed so relaxed. It was strange. It was like he was a real person, not the uncomfortable spy I always imagined him to be. I always thought he was either a really good spy just pretending to be awkward or just someone with English social anxiety.

English social anxiety is what all the students have as well. It’s the social anxiety that comes when they are forced to speak English. Basically, when I walk into the room. So now, I’ve become a trigger for these kids and this grown man. So in ten years, there will be all these adults and one old man talking about me as a trigger of their anxiety to their therapist. Like, “And then, and then, she made me say what I did on the weekend WITHOUT GIVING ME ANYTIME TO PREPARE!” Then just crying uncontrollably. 


But all this time, all I could think about how far this has gone. When I first came into contact with the Anchovy, I thought he had the smell of old men and coffee. The first email I sent that was about him read: “This room smells like old man coffee. Also, what’s wrong with this podium?”

Do you know the smell I’m talking about? Like imagine an old man drinking coffee, that smell.

And by contact, I mean I went into his classroom. Because we all know, actually talking is not an option.

During this time of “first contact,” someone described him. I didn’t know who he was, so I guessed, “Oh, you are talking about Marilyn Manson.” He does not look like Marilyn Manson at all, but one of my friends was describing a person she finds attractive. She was like he’s strange, tall, and skinny. Also, no one thinks he’s attractive. Based on what I know about this friend, my first thought was Marilyn Manson, but she was talking about the Anchovy. That story is nothing, but it just shows that I never thought of the Anchovy until the day that I did.


His birthday is coming up, and he seems very excited about it. Not as excited as Donald Trump, but still it was adorable how he talked about it. Of course, he talked about it in Korean, but I knew what he was talking about from context.


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