I Knew Audiences at Home Couldn’t Look

July 10, 2017

I saw my boss for the first time since messaging him:


How’s work?

i’m dying.

accidentally. I didn’t even know I could email him. I thought that option was just a collection of strange symbols. Like maybe that’s how I message the tech guy. But not my boss.

I knew my only hope of salvation when I sent the message was to fall over, and lay unresponsive until the paramedics arrived. Thankfully Koreans forget about me often. (I laid on the bed in physical therapy for ten minutes before the Korean nurse realized I was in there.)

It was like the moment in a TV show when something so embarrassing happens, even the viewers can’t look. We know it’s not real, but this was real. Don’t look. Hopefully, my natural sickly look during this unbearable heat was enough to show him, I meant it literally. I get the meth-head-stuck-in-a-steam-room look during the summer—extremely tired, claw marks (from mosquito bites) and giant pores. Ladies, you know the look.

But I guess I can always count on my invisibility and horrid appearance to get me through those awkward moments.



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