Introducing Grandmaw Ames

I have a blog; you’re reading it. I hate it. I hate blogging. I hate technology. I’m 80 years old, and I just want to sleep.

I want to be a writer in the golden age of writing, because pretending to care what other people say just to “build a following” is horrid. Also, I don’t have to get a following. I don’t want to go on six different sites just to get my story out there.

I feel like an 80 year old woman that got sucked into a millennial’s body (I had to Google how to spell that). I love my phone and couldn’t live without it, but I hate that I can’t. I just want to read a goddamn book once in a while.

This is why I am not a millennial (Had to look it up again).

I don’t understand Twitter and forget about Tumblr. Forget about it. What even is it?!

Half of my pictures end up like this:

Because I didn’t know it was going to take a picture when I tap the screen.

I just learned how to listen to a Podcast, and I have back problems. Click here to see.

I also have stomach problems. Click here to see. So if you were going to say well back problems aren’t that bad, there’s more. Not only do I have to walk hunched over sometimes, but I also have little control over my bowels.

I love 80s music more than current music. My karaoke version of Toto’s Africa brings tears, of laughter. I don’t have a link for that, and hopefully there is no evidence. If you don’t know the song, here is the original.

I can’t keep up with all these different news channels nowadays. I just want one paper with everything I need in once place. If I missed a story, it’s because it wasn’t important.

And YouTube. I would love to have a YouTube Channel, but the editing and the shooting; I can’t do it! I want to make a YouTube Channel back when you could have shitty lighting and no experience, like making amateur porn.

For these reasons, and so much more, I am @grandmaw_ames (Instagram), the mentality of a grandma trapped in a hot body.

6 Comments Add yours

  1. seankeogh says:

    Hey, Amy. I just want to say I love your writing. Your sense of humor and personality really show through your words with such honesty. You have a voice. This is one of my favorite posts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. grandmaw ames says:

      Thanks! I appreciate the feedback!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Mom says:

    Aw…I love grandmaw ames!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Rajiv says:

    You have a most cool blog!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. grandmaw ames says:

      Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

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