Unraveling the Mystery: the Singing Anchovy

Day 170: The subject seemed usually happy today. As he was making copies, he began singing, which is usually only something obnoxious chewer (another cog in the machine) does.

I couldn’t tell what the song was. I hoped it was something catchy, like k-pop or American pop. #BTSislife

I can see it now. On stage with V, Jin, Jimin, and the Balding Anchovy, the crowd would scream BA for short. I want to say he has the moves of J-Hope, but he’s more of a Rap Mon.


(If you still don’t understand these references, watch the BBMAs once in awhile!)

I bet he dreams of being on stage with them. I know I do. Go BA! Go BA! Go BA!


Or maybe he got lucky last night. Good for him.


Day 171: I got trapped with the Anchovy in the small kitchen area. He was making coffee, and I wanted water. I wonder if he knows about the obsession. I mean, I definitely spend less time just starring at him now. So that helps.

Instead of just saying something, we awkwardly both try to navigate the tiny space.

I miss the days when I had 30 minutes dedicated to just observing. I would sit and just narrate his thoughts while “making phone calls.”

[inside the mind of the subject]

(two minutes of grunting) These kids are so dumb. And they never stop asking for food. I wish they would just shut up already. There’s so many of them. (more grunting) [singing] I just wanna goo hoOoOme.

I feel like he sings a lot in his mind now. Oh look at me, rambling on like a schoolgirl.


Day 172: Maybe this is becoming sexual. Not sexual like we would ever talk or touch. But this fascination has turned the Anchovy into a tall, sickly prince.

Today, he changed a light-bulb. And as he stood on top of that rolly-chair, with the balance of an Olympic gymnast; I thought, he looks kind of handsome in dim lighting.

For the rest of the day, I watched him as he stared at his computer, looking confused. What a man!


Day 173: Today, he spent 30 minutes starring longingly out the window. I wonder if he was dreaming or just standing there to fart. Either way, I couldn’t bring myself to get my things to go home and waited until he was done.


Day 174: He gave me candy today. And not just gave it to me, but he put it in my hand and touched it. Is it sad that this is the most interesting relationship I have right now? I know, I know.

But he gave me candy.

I’m glad he didn’t say anything when he did, because calling me Ally would’ve ruined the moment.

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