Reasons the CIA should Recruit Me

To whom it may concern:

1. No one remembers who I am so if my cover is compromised no one will remember. I can’t even count the times my mom called 2 hours after needing to pick me up. And my co-workers still think I’m a ghost that haunts the office.

2. People are always running into me. So clearly I am invisible to the naked eye. This skill will come in handy when I need to cross enemy  lines. Just yesterday a man ran into me while, I thought, he was looking me in the eye. He was actually looking at the fried chicken display behind me.

3. I speak fluent Korean. It only works when I’m talking to cab driver’s though so that could be a strength or a weakness. I use my expert Korean skills to communicate exactly where I want to go and often when drunk. This could be another skill, speaking Korean when drunk.

4. I speak French. But not the France French..more like that dirt French from down South. So this would only work when spying on Americans, which I have no problems with.

5. I have that kind of generic white girl face that could be pretty or not, so dealer’s choice.

6. I have collected 10 years of random knowledge that I can use for you! I can retain large amounts of information and report back to you about any enemies, foreign or domestic..just want to say again, I will spy on my own people.

I look forward to hearing from you regarding my employment.

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